The time I spent searching for the one thing I wanted so desperately, I did without God and God was the only one who could offer me what I longed for. I had known God's love, had accepted Jesus into my heart, but I had run away.

I remember the day I asked Jesus into my life at church that morning. Driving home from church, my sister commented how I 'glowed'. The feeling inside of me was like no other I had felt. Peace covered me and felt all the worries leave me.

As time passed, I slowly drifted away from God. I married someone who did not know the love of Jesus and that did not last. I was soon at the beginning of the longest search for the one thing I had abandoned, the one thing I had, but walked away from and forgot.

Sitting in Brian's car, feeling desperate, alone, I cried out "I just want somebody to love me". I buried my face in my hands and felt the tears stream down my face. How had I come to this point? Why did I feel this way? Why am I alone?

For so long how I wanted someone to love me - just for me - unconditionally. My life up to this point had been a series of one-sided relationships. I thought that if I pleased the other, they would love me. I did not know at the time but my life as a doormat, my life without God, was about to come to an end.

Weeks passed and I had to press on. I had two small children to care for and that is not an easy task for a single mother. Getting comfy in my chair one evening, I logged on to the chat room hoping for someone to talk to. Across my screen came this message - 'Hi'. Little did I know that small word was the answer to the tears weeks before.

Through the conversations we had, I learned that he lived very near me. He was different in manner and speech and a true gentlemen. After many conversations, we agreed to meet. I tried my hardest not to have anything to do with him. Why? I suppose he just wasn't 'my type' - the only type I had known.

But something inside me knew he was different and we started dating. I learned that he went to church. I had not been to church in years. I started going to church with him. I really liked going and I began to remember all that I had known before.

I rededicated my life to God - confessed my sins, and asked him to take my life into his hands. I am married now to the wonderful man who took me back to church. I am seeing God work in my life as I have never before. That peace that I had once known is in my heart once again.

God answered me that night - and gave me more than I had wanted. A new start, a new life, and God gave me his love - a love like no other.

In His Hands,
Lori